What is life, if full of Care

While growing up , i always admired the words of W. H. Davies as it was our school poem and i read it every year in our calendar:

What is this life if, full of care

We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs

And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,

Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,

Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,

And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can

Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare

as a kid, i found this poem too boring, i used to make fun of it with my friends, that they published the same old poem, cant they change the poem for once! But once i started growing up, i started taking note of the poem . 

I remember once i asked my sister what does this exactly mean and why is this our School Poem, why is it so important. Well even she was a kid then, still being an elder sister she took the responsibility to put some brains in me and said that you are so busy in your life that you dont realise small small stuff and when you grow up you will pay more attention to these details rather than all the money in your life. Again at that point i thought what else can be important than money. 

Fast forward 15 years to it! This year i will be turning 30. I am glad, i have come this far, but more than everything i am glad that i read that poem in my childhood as it has made me grateful to all that i have rather than crying about the things i have lost.

so in last 1 year my life took a 360 degree turn. I didnt know whom to believe, frankly speaking i didnt even want to believe myself. I have lost the most purest expressions in world : LOVE, TRUST, HOPE. 

And when you loose them you try to find the purpose of your life. I struggled hard to find the purpose of my life. as last 14 years my only purpose was to earn money, marry and travel the world with him. Suddenly that was lost i didnt know how to find a new purpose. Finally i took a trip on my own. Again i realised i am bad as a solo traveler, it makes me feel sick, and sad and lonely. but yet i was happy as i saw the little things. I felt the wind through my hair, i dipped my toes in water, the local cheese made my stomach twirl , the wine made my brain lighter. And i realised if i cant thank these small things and be grateful that i am able to still live my dream on a single ticket, i wont be able to find another dream ever. 

So i am back to admiring the nature's beauty, back to breathing my independent air, back to being the rebel i always was and questioning all the norms of male dominated society. I will keep doing that till i find a family who loves me as i am , and respects me fr what i am , and supports me in ruling the world and not confine me to my duties of taking care of the house. 

Thankyou mother nature for bringing the most peace in me in my most difficult time. I promise i will spend more time with you in this coming here.. and travel to the remotest places to discover the best in you :)